The Chicago Typewriter was a model of 
« How to pick the lock on handcuffs | Main | Scientists determine that fish can count, tell difference between one fish and two fish. Difference between red fish and blue fish to be determined in phase two. »
A list of behaviors and viewpoints that I would not tolerate in a babysitter but that I am forced to tolerate in President George W. Bush
By Mark | March 21, 2008
1) A long history of alcoholism and drunk driving.
2) An inability to pronounce basic English words.
3) The tendency to believe a job is done when, in fact, it is not.
4) A disbelief in evolution by natural selection.
5) The continuing need to invite people from his father’s work to help do his job.
6) Is homophobic.
7) Chokes on pretzels.
8 ) Exempts self from rules, after the fact.
9) Believes in use of waterboarding to do one’s job.
10) Continues to hang around with friends who have shot people in the face.
11) Confuses Muslim people with Muslin fabric.
12) References to past include “when I used to do blow.”
13) Asks, “is our children learning?”
14) Believes that scientific rigor is subject to political expediency.
15) Believes that the proper response to an emergency is to take a vacation.
16) Believes that the proper response to a lack of emergency is to take a vacation.
17) Is liked by less than 29% of the people who know him.
18) Knows anyone named “Turd Blossom.”
19) Takes advice from someone named “Turd Blossom.”
20) Has actually named someone “Turd Blossom.”
21) Cannot actually name a philosopher.
22) Spends more than three times the original estimate.
23) Regularly uses the concept of “evil” without irony.
24) Listens in on my phone conversations.
25) Believes the Superdome is an adequate place to live.
26) Does not know the price of gas.
27) Wishes Austin was less weird.
This simultaneously posted on ThisIsBy.Us, but without the hilarious picture.
Topics: Politics, Humor | Trackback | Comments RSS
March 21st, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I agree with all but one. I’m guilty of #11. I had to read it three times.
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
USA! USA! USA! USA!
#2 - Shouldn’t someone have clued this goof in to the fact that it’s pronounced “Nu-cle-ar”? How can he protect us from nuclear weapons when he can’t even pronounce nuclear?
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 am
I hope Dub-ya has tip money for you.. cuz he just got served!